Here's a story explaining some of the reason as to why I want to find an unwesternized, feminine, woman.
Once upon a time... (four years ago) I lived with three roomates. One of my roomates was my best friend and brother. The other was a bookworm and pretty much kept to herself, and her ice fortress of a room. Lastly was J.... who would probably remind you of a spoiled child that had to be cleaned up after, and told to take a bath. One day, J brought his wife over from Korea to live with us for a while. We had a hard time believing the guy was actually married..... When she got there she was quiet, polite, and very shy(just like a little girl). Nobody really made much of an effort to include her in the group...... one day I spoke with her and got her to loosen up a little (I didn't want her to have a bad impression of us americans, but strangely I seemed to be the only one that cared.) Her english was broken but not so broken that you couldn't understand what she said. She told me her name, and in english it would translate into Judy I think.
It wasn't long before we all saw that Judy and J were having serious marriage problems. J was a spoiled, stinky, twenty-somthing year old kid that could hardly tear himself away from his computer, or D&D to spend time with his wife. All of a sudden everyone unofficially designates me to take care of her. J shoves his bank card into my hand and wants me to take Judy grocery shopping and stuff. Like an idiot, I didn't argue.... Judy wants to go on a walk because she hasn't been out of the house in weeks, J asks me to take her because he's playing Warcraft or something. She would tell me how she believed that J had cheated on her in the past, how he sometimes would be rough with her, or try to force himself on her. She told me how he had a privious marrage and a son.(Not to mention an illigetimate child by some other girlfriend afterward) Judy would tell me that J was a different person when she met him and lied to her about his past to get her to marry him. It wasn't until she met his parents that his mom and dad forced him to tell her the truth. His only excuse was "I didn't think you'd marry me if I told you." Many times Judy would come to me crying about how homesick she was, how her parents warned her not to marry him but she did anyway because she thought she loved him at the time.... How J threatened to throw her out on the lawn one day, or even made empty threats to kill her! All of us began to hate J, and everyone turned a blind eye/deaf ear to what was going on except me. It was hardest for me because I was the one she constantly ran to. I even spoke to J about it (when I could catch him between Warcraft and D&D) he could've cared less!
One night everyone was away at work and Judy and I were the only two people in the house. That night I went to sleep but it only lasted a few hours. I woke up because I felt something on my face.... When I opened my eyes it was Judy! I don't know how long she watched me sleep before deciding to climb on top of me and kiss me. With tears in her eyes she apologized and ran back up stairs to her room. (my room was down in the basement and there was no lock for my door.) I lay there thinking for a minute before I found myself going upstairs to check on her. I stood by her bed, asked if she was okay, and told her that it was alright. She had jumped in and pulled the covers over her head... I could her hear quietly crying. As I turned to leave, something in me made me ask her if she wanted me to stay. She said yes...... at that exact moment there was a clap of thunder outside. Needless to say, I climbed into her bed and took her to a place she had never been to before. I hadn't realized how stunningly beautiful she was, or how attracted we had become to one another. I hated myself for being so weak... J never found out, to busy playing on his computer. It was obvious to everyone else though. Judy walked around with a smile, and everyone made an effort to try and make her feel more included in things even though it was months to late. Anytime Judy and I had the house to ourselves she would come to me and whisper to me that she wanted me to take her to that place we visited the night of the storm.
Her time and mine came to an end in that house as J had to go back to Korea and Judy couldn't go because something was wrong with her paper work.(We all believed J had something to do with it...) And yours truly had decided to come back home to N.C. Judy started crying the day before I left and never stopped. She told me something along the lines of I would always be the one in her heart or something along those lines. She was crying so much I could hardly make out what she said. I left and never saw her again.... It wasn't until earlier this year that I was able to forgive myself for what I had done, and admit to myself that I had fallen in love with her just as she had fallen in love with me. We lived together for two years. There was never, ever a reason to speak to Judy with a raised voice, we loved her cooking, and she would clean house whenever she could. Before she came, I was practically a nanny because I hate a dirty house. (And we would always help each other clean house.) She was very beautiful, had a cute way of speaking, and even became playful(after that night of the storm...) she kept in shape, was feminine, humble, and had a very lady like/sexy way of telling a man what she wanted/needed from him. Everything I had ever asked God for in a woman. There was just one thing wrong, she wasn't mine.
After experiencing Judy, I simply couldn't go back to american women/westernized women. She showed me how vulgar, rude, alchoholic, loud, manipulative, unappriciative, proud, uncareing, and downright evil AW/WW were. Judy made me feel appreciated, attractive, needed, loved..... like she couldn't get by without me. Even though the only thing I had to offer her was my company. She really brought out the best in me at times. Where as most AW/WW only brought stress, worry, debt, emotional problems, head games.....
This is the reason I want to save up and travel. I want to see the world and hopefully, somewhere along the way meet a nice foriegn girl. Because I can honestly say, that I have all but given up on AW/WW.
